Afraid of Myself
by Glitterpool
Summary: Hatred is a rouge kit abused by her mother. She is often visited in dreams by Thunderstar the first leader of ThunderClan. He promises that she and her brother will be accepted into the Clan, but can she accept herself enough to save her adopted Clan? R
1. Chapter 1

Hatred shuddered. Her mother never slept by her, and her brother, though much bigger than she, was little consolence in the cold rain. The ceiling to the upwalker den she and her family slept in had long ago fallen in. The spot where Evil and her were forced to sleep was always damp with rain, and unprotected by wind. Just three months old, the two kittens were fully weened off of milk- there mother refused to feed them as soon as they could talk- and were only given the stringiest of squirrels to eat. Hatred's stomach growled, but she ignored it and pressed herself closer into her brother's warm fur.

She dreamed as she slept a fitful sleep. Nothing was better than life in her dreams. She sat up, her hunger compleatly gone, and all her scars no longer stinging. Like always, a large orange tom with white paws and bright amber eyes came out to greet her. "Hello, little one," he said. He never called her by her real name- he knew by now how much she hated it. "How is your brother doing?" he asked.

"Fine," she replied with an excited wave of her tail. "He's so much stronger than me. I just wish mommy would give him more food... he's getting so skinny you can see his rib bones."

"Yes, I know," he sighed. "But I already told you- you both make it through this. You'll see. It's just a few days now until ThunderClan takes you in." He gave her a small smile.

"Thunderstar," Hatred bounced as she said it, "can I see ThunderClan now? You've told me so much about it. I want to see it! I want to sleep in a warm den, and have friends, and I want Evil to be the great leader you say he becomes! I want to see it all happen, and I want it all so bad!"

The former ThunderClan leader chuckled. "Soon enough, little one, soon enough. But now you need to wake up, live another day. I promise you will see your new Clan soon."

Hatred bowed her head. She knew better than to argue with the one of the many StarClan leaders. But still, under her breath she meowed, "I wanna go see ThunderClan...


	2. Chapter 2

**Why, hello, my furry little kittens! This is Glitterpool, and I must say, thank you for reading!**

**roaring smilondonstar- Thank you for my first ever review! **

**The rest of you, get to reviewing! **

**Oh, and this story is kind of a prequil to my other fanfic, Spots of Black, Tail of Gold. You'll see why! And it takes place a loooong time ago, so it's in the old territory.**

**Thanks much, enjoy,**

**Glitterpool**

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Evil always woke up long before she did. Of course, it wasn't Hatred's fault- she had always been sort of nocturnal, since the nights were too cold to sleep. Thier mother didn't care, she rarely even looked at them anymore, which was okay with both kittens since noticing them ment more claw marks to add to the collection. Evil's were mostly on his face, since he was brave enough to face his mother. Hatred considered herself a coward for ducking, rolling away, squeeling when thorn-sharp claws hit her belly. Evil always said she was just smarter than him.

But if she knew anything, it was that nothing would ever change. _Maybe Thunderstar was lying to me,_ she thought sorrowfully one day. She immediately took it back, feeling guilty right away. Who was she to challange a StarClan warrior? He had taught her all about the awesome might of StarClan. Poor Evil knew nothing of StarClan, he had never had the same dreams as her. One day, though, he would know all about them...

Today, she knew, would not be a good day. She knew it because the moment she was awake, Hatred spied her mother peeking at them. A bad omen from the start.

The rest of the day was a nightmare- she and Evil recieved a few more clawmarks on thier bellies and faces. Hatred took her brother out into the forest to recover- she knew of a few plants that would heal wounds quicker when chewed and spread on the wound.

"Evil," she sighed as she worked, rasping her tounge along his flank to clean the wound, "have you ever noticed how the only cat we've ever known is Mommy? I mean, we don't have a Daddy, and no other cats come see us..." she trailed off, guiltily thinking of the StarClan warrior she met in her dreams. She chewed up the golden petals of a healing flower she'd found.

"Well," her brother winced as the pulp stung his wound, "I try not to think about that."

"Yeah," Hatred sighed as she covered the slash with cobwebs.

The next day they woke to find thier mother glaring down at them. "My pests," she growled. "Today we are going on a little... trip. Hatred, Evil, prepare yourselves for the worst day of your pathetic existences."


	3. Chapter 3

**Yay! Three whole chappies! Hope you like this one!**

**PearlaH.Sweden- Ah, yes, I hate her too. Poor kitties...**

**Anywho, enjoy the chap!**

**Glitterpool**

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Hatred stiffled a cry of pain. If she showed her emotions, her mother would be very displeased... Still, the way her teeth dug into her scruff really _hurt._ She glanced at her brother Evil, who was beginning to trail behind. "Move it along, Evil!" thier mother hissed through the bundle in her mouth. She swept him off his feet with one paw and tossed him up ahead. He landed with a thud in a pile of brambles. 

The rest of the trip was mostly silent, Evil always keeping several feet ahead. He threw wary glances behind him every few pawsteps. Hatred, dangling from her mother's jaws, winced as she was bit again. _If she keeps this up, we're _both _going to need treatment! _she thought, though it wasn't much of a bother to her. She kept her eyes fixed on her brother's gray patched fur. She let out a pitiful mew, hoping he would here her with his tiny, undergrown ears. They were like those of a newborn kitten- or at least what she thought a newborn kitten would look like.

They ended up in a dense wood, thick with trees and undergrowth. Hatred thought she could smell cat scent, but she couldn't be sure- she'd never really known what cat scent was like. Suddenly her mother stopped, seeming to decide something. "This should be far enough," she said to herself.

"Mommy, what are we doing here?" Hatred whined.

"Yeah, this isn't like our upwalker house," Evil put in. "Can't we go home?"

"Don't worry," she replied, her voice sick with sweetness. "We'll go back as soon as I'm done with this one little thing," she purred. "Now stay here." she flicked them each on the shoulder with the tip of her tail."

They both huddled together, watching her orange fur disapear into the distance. They stared after her for a moment. It gave Hatred a sickening feeling, watching the only other cat they'd ever known disapear from view...

Evil shivered and turned toward her. "Sister," he started, not calling her by her name, "I want you to know, even if Mother isn't, I will always be here for you. I will protect you. And I'm going to tell you something that may hurt."

Hatred turned her head to the side, genuinely curious. "Brother, you make it sound as if-"

"She isn't coming back," Evil finished.


	4. Chapter 4

**Yay! I'm on a roll today! Okay reviews...**

**Kewix- Yes, I hate the mommy cat too... but hey, I needed to come up with a bad guy for the plot. **

**soundslikeliar- Actually, that comes up later. But I won't spoil it for you. )**

**PearlaH.Sweden- I dunno... Evil mommy cat (as I've come to call her) is all they've ever known. **

**Enjoy!**

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Hatred let out a gasp. "Brother, never say such things! If she comes back, you'll feel _really_ guilty!" 

"_If_ she comes back," Evil hissed. "Come on, Sister. Let's go. I need to talk to you about something." He flicked his tail further into the forest. Hatred threw a glance behind her, but only for a second, and followed her brother.

"What is it, Brother?" she whined. "I wanna go home. Why are you going this way?"

"Because," he replied, "Mother isn't coming back. We need to find some cat who will take care of us better than _she_ has."

Hatred tilted her head to the side. She sat down and wrapped her kinked orange tail gray-striped tail around her paws. She stared at him hard with her deep blue eyes. "Brother, tell me now, and I won't move until you do, why you hate Mommy so much!" she spat.

Evil sighed. "Please, Sister. It's a very long story- you wouldn't want to hear it. It's too boring."

Hatred's blood boiled beneath her fur. "I can handle whatever you want to tell me! Just because you were born first doesn't make you any more of an adult than me! You treat me like such a kitten!"

Her brother rolled his eyes. "We're _both_ kittens," he murmured, but he told her anyway. "Well... there's this cat that I meet in my dreams... he's orange-"

"...with white paws," Hatred finished for him. "I know him! I meet him too!"

"Then... did Thunderstar tell you?"

"About ThunderClan?" she was bouncing on her paws now. "Yes he did! And he said we'd go there!"

"No..." Evil trailed off, looking at the ground. There was definitly something he didn't want to say.

"No?" his Sister pressed.

"No, I mean... about Mother..." her clueless expression must've been answer enough. "I mean, the way she claws us and yells at us isn't out of love. It is out of hate and spite!"

"Don't be silly," Hatred purred. "What on earth could make you _think_ such a thing?"

"Because," he began, "Thunderstar told me... that what she does to us... just isn't normal!"

Hatred narrowed her eyes but didn't reply.

"Why do you think," he pointed out, "that she claws us? Why do you think she named us 'Hatred' and 'Evil?' She hates us, that's why! She's never wanted kittens. Never!" his eyes were piercing with rage.

Hatred was near to crying now. "But... all these months, I thought..."

"Don't worry, Sister, I have good news," he purred. "Thunderstar said that when we got to ThunderClan, we'd get a _new_ Mommy! And she would love us, and we'd have more brothers and sisters, and we would all be a family! And we would have a Father, and..." he trailed off, staring happily at nothing in particular.

His sister thought a moment, looking at the ground with her beautiful golden eyes. Finally she was to her paws in an instant, darting away into the forest. "Hurry up, Brother!" she called over her shoulder. "We have a family to find!" She could hear him behind her, running just as enthusiastically as she was.


	5. Chapter 5

**All righty. If anyone here is ready Spots of Black, Tail of Gold, I'm postponing it for now. Sorry. I kinda need to finish this one before I can do much with that one without giving away a bunch of info!**

**I hope you like this one. If you _have_ been reading my other story, you'll like their names for sure. **

**Glitterpool**

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The two tiny kittens made their way deeper into the forest. They passed a huge river with rocks all around, a little stream branching off of the river, a big hollow with sand scattered around in it, a huge sycamore tree... They were just getting to a big pile of rocks when Hatred let out a cry of surprise.

"What is it?" her brother demanded.

"I... don't really know!" she shrieked. "It was... really thin and slippery! And alive! Moving really quick, too!"

Evil shot her a questioning expression. "Seriously? Did it look dangerous? Maybe we shouldn't be here..." he trailed off.

"No!" Hatred cried. "I wanna find ThunderClan! It just scared me, that's all. It wasn't dangerous. Look, there's more of them!"

Both kittens turned toward the rocks. Evil let out a sharp gasp. He knew just as much about them as Hatred, but they seemed very scary. One let out a gaping yawn, showing four huge fangs. Hatred whimpered and pressed closer into her brother.

"Brother..." she mewed uncomfortably.

"Don't worry Sister," he said, reasuring himself more than her. "I'm sure they just want to play."

The slippery things were closing in. The kittens were surrounded.

Suddenly, as if from nowhere, a sharp yowl broke into the air. At once, the things slithered back into the rocks, hiding away. For now.

A huge brown tabby tom burst through the undergrowth, two more cats trailing behind him. At once, he picked Hatred up gently by the scruff. One of the other cats- a small white tom- followed his lead and took up Evil in his teeth. The two kits were too scared to speak as they were carried off.


	6. Chapter 6

**Next chap up! Not much time- gotta type fast!**

**Okay, so the kitten's names were a little delayed, but you will love _this_ chapter, I promise!**

**Gotta go NOW!**

**Glitterpool**

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The cats worked their way backwards from where Hatred and Evil had gone. But at the sycamore, they turned a sharp right and pounded thier paws down the ravine and through a thick tunnel of brambles. Suddenly they were in a huge clearing, surrounded by dozens of cats. 

_More cats!_ Hatred thought with a shudder of excitement. She had not even dreamed so many cats could exist! They must be at ThuderClan!

Her and her brother were let down in the middle of the clearing. More cats gathered around, coming from small bramble tunnels and even one cat from a crack in a rock. Two very important looking she-cats emerged from a hole in a big rock that hung over the camp in an ominous sort of way. _Highrock,_ Hatred thought, sastisfied with the knowledge.

"We found them out by Snakerocks," the brown tabby that had carried Hatred told the two she-cats. He pointed at the two kittens with his tail. "Robinstar, what should we do with them?"

Robin_star_! _She must be leader, _Hatred thought. The dark brown she-cat that must have been Robinstar replied, "Let me see them." She pushed her way forward, the other she-cat- a small tortoiseshell- at her side. They peered down at Hatred and her brother.

"Why, they're just babies!" the tortoiseshell exclaimed. "They can't be more than a moon old, by the size of them!"

Evil stepped up close to his sister. "Um..." he started nervously, "We are _three _moons old." Thunderstar must have told him how long a moon was.

Robinstar took a step closer and bent down to sniff the kittens. "Why, they are rouge kits. And they are so small! I doubt they'll make it a moon!"

The tortoiseshell glanced nervously at her leader. "Robinstar, we aren't going to... _leave_ them, are we?"

"Of _course _not, Thicketfur. It's against the warrior code, and they were nearly eaten by adders. Let's see what they have to say." The ThunderClan leader looked down upon both of them with kind green eyes. "Go on then," she urged. "Why are you here?"

Evil took a breath, preparing to speak, but Hatred interrupted him. "Our mother," she began, "is not a nice cat. She used to claw us, and hardly fed us, and... I guess that's why Thunderstar decided to talk to us."

At the sound of his name, the cats gathered around began to gasp and whisper. Some pressed in closer to hear better.

"We... we met him in our dreams," she said. "My brother during the night, and I during the day. He told us about ThunderClan, and the other Clans. He said we would come here and then we would get a _new_ Mommy, and she would be so kind to us!"

"They must be lying!" a shout came from across the clearing.

Another cat muttered, "They were spying on us! It's the only explaination."

All at once the whole Clan was in an uproar. Robinstar stood up to her full hight and yelled, "Silence!" at once the clamor broke down. "If these kits say they met Thunderstar, I believe them. What else could have brought them here, but a StarClan warrior? And one of the oldest, at that!"

The rest of the Clan had nothing to say to that.

"Robinstar," Thicketfur, the Clan deputy, Hatred guessed, piped up, "We don't even know their names. And who will take care of them?"

Evil was quick to step up. "We don't need but three moons to be looked after," he said. "And we would prefer to have new names, if that's okay with you. Our old ones..." he trailed off, staring at his paws. Hatred shuddered- it was rare to see her brother so full of sorrow.

"What is wrong with the names you were given? Surely you would want to keep them," Thicketfur pressed.

Robinstar glanced at her deputy. "Don't pry, Thicketfur. If they would prefer we don't know, then I believe it is best, for thier sakes."

The deputy wordlessly bowed her head.

"Now for your new names," Robinstar purred. "We usually have a cerimony for newborn kits called a naming cerimony. Your mother would normally pick the names, but since you are orphaned, I will come up with them." She bowed her head for a moment, thinking. "You," she flicked her tail to Evil. "From this day forward, until you recieve your apprentice name, will be known as Smallkit."

The newly named Smallkit turned to his sister, his eyes filled with pride. She snuggled into his flank, congratulating him. But she only had a moment, because suddenly Robinstar turned to her. "From this moment on, until you recieve your apprentice name, will be known as Whisperkit."

The two kits pressed into each other's fur, near to bursting with joy. Whisperkit let out a little squeal of excitement. Through her brother's fur she could hear something, soft at first, but getting louder and louder all the time. The Clan was chanting their names! "Smallkit! Whisperkit! Smallkit! Whisperkit!" They were being accepted into the Clan!

When the cheering had died down, Robinstar spoke again. "Cats of ThunderClan, these kits are without parents. I need a queen who is willing to take care of them."

A blue she cat stepped out from the crowd. "Robinstar," she murmured in a low, soft voice, "I would love to take in these kits."

Robinstar gave the queen a questioning look. "But Waterstone," she objected, "you already have four kits. Would six be too much for you? Four is difficult, I would know," she said, glancing at Thicketfur with a wistful smile. _She must be Thicketfur's mother,_ Whisperkit observed.

Waterstone shook her head. "I love all my kits, no matter how many. And I'm sure these kits have not known much of family or love, other than that of each other. No, I would be grateful if you would let me take them in."

"Fine, if it is your wish," Robinstar bowed her head. "I will be in my den. I suggest you kits get some rest in the nursury, and meet your new brothers and sisters."

Whisperkit and Smallkit bounced around excitedly. Their lives would be better now- much better than that cold upwalker nest. They would be warriors one day.


	7. Chapter 7

**Yay! Whisperkit and Smallkit have gotten new names! And now you know who Smallkit will be! Yay spoilers! **

**But seriously speaking, the trouble is yet to come. There are worse things than abusive mothers, you know!**

**Anyways, enjoy!**

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"Ow! Moonkit, geroff! I wanna see the new siblings!" 

"No, I wanna see 'em first! Ow, Ivykit! That was my tail!"

"Sorry, Gorsekit, but I need to get a good view!"

"Hey, no pushing!"

Without even asking, Whisperkit knew this was the nursury. The clamor from inside was undenyably kittish, even if she had never seen another kit. Whisperkit swiveled her ears forward to hear every word her new brothers and sisters were saying as her adopted mother led her and Smallkit to the nursury.

"Smallkit, do you think they'll be fun?" she asked him eagerly.

But his only reply was, "We'll see."

Whisperkit bounded past her mother to see them as soon as she could. Immediately she was leaped on by four tiny mounds of fur, tiny voices coming from all around. "Get... off!" she managed to spit.

At once the weight was lifted off of her, and Whisperkit glanced up to see four little kits, bigger than her, but somehow, younger. Two toms, two she-cats.

"Is it true you were a rouge?"

"Did your Mommy really hate you?"

"Don't worry, ours is better."

"Where's our new brother?"

That was when Waterstone padded in, Smallkit trailing closely behind. "Settle down, you four," she purred. "One at a time." She turned to Whisperkit and Smallkit. "They are only two moons old. You are one moon older, but you two are so small, you must look like newborns to them."

Whisperkit nodded. She'd known they were younger, of course.

The kits began to speak again, this time in a more orderly fashion. "I'm Gorsekit," the biggest tom, a light brown tabby introduced himself.

"My name is Ivykit," his tortoiseshell sister murmured excitedly. She stared out with beautiful yellow eyes.

A beautiful blue one, looking just like her mother, stepped out. "I am Moonkit," she stated sharply.

The last one, a shy white tom with dark gray stripes, mewed, "I'm Whitekit."

Waterstone turned to her four little kits and meowed, "Very good! Very polite. These are Smallkit and Whisperkit, your new brother and sister."

The kits bounced around excitedly. At once they were shouting more and more questions, so many it made Whisperkit's head dizzy, until thier mother silenced them with a flick of her tail. "Now, darlings, these two need to rest. Whitekit, could you please show them which nest is ours?"

That was when Whisperkit first took in her surroundings. The nursury was made up of a small cover of brambles, twigs and sticks weaved into the thorns to keep the wind out. It also kept the sun out, making the nursury very dim in lighting. There were several large nests made up of moss and leaves. They all seemed so warm and inviting...

"This one is ours," Whitekit mewed, pointing with his tail to one in the back. Immediately Smallkit led his sister to it. Sleep took them both nearly instantly.

Her last thoughts as Whisperkit was drawn into sleep were of her new Mommy, new brothers, new sisters...

_I'm part of a family!_ she thought silently, before closeing her eyes.


	8. Chapter 8

**Aww... touching. They are part of a family. But! Soon is where all the internal conflict stuff happens. You'll probably hate this chapter- it's a filler. **

**Your welcome.**

**Anywho, reviews! Haven't done those in awhile...**

**Wildtail- Why, thank you! Oh, that would be cool! Maybe I'll do that... ) You'll just have to wait and see!**

**Kira2667- Thanks much!**

**PearlaH.Sweden- Well, now you know! You likey?**

**The rest of you, review! I LOVE getting reviews! They make me feel uber cool! Only, no flames, unless it's REALLY bad, and please no comments on the terrible grammar. I know, I suck at speeling... lol. And next time you review, you get a metaphorical cookie! Yay, nonexistent cookies!**

**Thanks much! Oh, and enjoy! Yes, enjoy the story!**

**Glitterpool**

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Whisperkit woke with a start. It was odd not to have Thunderstar in her dreams anymore, but she knew he was still there, watching over her from StarClan. _Thank you, Thunderstar, _she thought, looking up at to the nursury roof, but somehow still further than that. At the stars. 

She slipped out of the nursury, careful not to wake any of her brothers and sisters. They were still bigger than her and Smallkit, even after being in ThunderClan for three moons. She supposed it was all good, considering Smallkit's name wouldn't make sense otherwise.

She crossed the camp as quietly as she could, trying not to draw attention to herself. Petalwing sat on gaurd duty, but she never looked her way. Whisperkit slowly made her way to the medicine cat's den, finding herself constantly drawn here throughout her kithood. It was odd, but it seemed to be calling to her. The sweet scents of the herbs, the silent promises of a life without fighting... but more so the aura of StarClan, of innocence that surrounded the den.

Dewfrost didn't have an apprentice. Maybe she should ask her if she could be the next medicine cat... Whisperkit shook her head. No, Smallkit would be so lonely! He would be sleeping in the apprentice's den without any of his siblings, all alone... She would wait a moon. Then she would ask.

Dewfrost must have also had trouble sleeping, because that's when she decided to emerge from her den. Whisperkit jumped about a tail-length into the air. "Oh, Dewfrost!" she stuttered. "I didn't know you were awake!"

The medicine cat purred, amused. "Whisperkit. What are you doing out of the nursury?"

"I..." Whisperkit had no response for her.

"Ah, little one, can't sleep?" Dewfrost asked. "No worries. Neither can I."

"Why not, Dewfrost?" Whisperkit squeaked.

Dewfrost sighed. "I don't want to frighten you, but I know that something is up with ThunderClan."

"Have you had any dreams?"

"StarClan remain silent." The pretty blue-gray tabby looked sad.

"To me too..." Whisperkit murmured quietly.

The medicine cat's piercing blue eyes shot open. "_What_ did you just say?" she pressed.

"I-I..." Whisperkit stuttered, scared for a moment. "I just said StarClan haven't talked to me recently, that's all! Did I do something wrong?" Tears welled in her amber eyes. What could she have done? The dark gray tabby kit shuddered.

Dewfrost gaver her a quick lick on the ear. "Oh, Whisperkit. You did nothing wrong. I'd just... forgotten that you'd spoken with Thunderstar before. He hasn't been talking to you recently, though? Not since you joined, I'm guessing?"

Whisperkit shook her head. "No, he welcomed me in the night I arrived. But since me and Smallkit were sleeping at the same time, he was there too. I kind of liked that..." she trailed off, remembering. "Then he said other cats were going to talk to me instead. He said... they wanted to meet me, and Smallkit too."

Dewfrost seemed to be getting more and more excited by the minute. "Have you ever met all of StarClan?" she asked.

"No, just Thunderstar. But he _did_ say I'd be talking to more cats soon."

"Wonderful!" Dewfrost seemed bursting with joy. "Whisperkit, have you ever thought of being a medicine cat?"

Whisperkit widened her eyes in awe. She had, of course, but what about Smallkit?

"I..." she tried to come up with words for her fears.

"It's quite alright," Dewfrost purred. "I can understand your worries. I will give you a moon to think it over, and in that time, please come to me when you have any more dreams, alright?"

Whisperkit nodded. "I promise you, I will."

"Good." Dewfrost turned and padded back into her den, calling over her shoulder, "Now go get some sleep!"

Whisperkit bounced happily back to the nursury, each pawstep filled with joyous, boundless energy.


	9. Chapter 9

**I'm going to spare you all the horribleness of filler chapters for now. Plus I'm really bored, so... Yeah.**

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"Whisperkit! Wake up!" 

"Yeah, Whisperkit! You don't want to miss your own cerimony, do you?"

"Get up, you lousy ball of fur!"

The last one, Whisperkit knew, must have been Moonkit. The blue she-cat nudged her in a not-so-gentle fashion, in a failed attempt to rouse her. Whisperkit didn't budge- not for her bratty little sister. But she finally let her eyelids flicker open when her mother whispered into her ear, "Now you need to wake up, little one. Your brother's waiting for you."

She leapt to her paws and bounded away towards the Highrock. There, at the bottom of Highrock, was Smallkit, pride shining in his amber eyes. No, she couldn't abandon him now and leave him as the only apprentice his age. Nothing could make her do it.

Whisperkit croutched down beside him and purred. He purred back, a rough, echoing sound. He'd grown so very strong these past three moons.

Robinstar was perched at the top of Highrock. It seemed like she'd already given the call, for cats began to converge below her. She gazed down proudly at her Clan, her warm green eyes stopping at Smallkit and Whisperkit. They looked back, just as proud.

Robinstar snapped her head back to the center of the crowd and called out, "Cats of ThunderClan! Now is the time for me to begin one of my favorite duties as a leader." she leapt off of the Highrock and came to stand by Whisperkit and her brother. "Smallkit and Whisperkit are ready for thier apprentice names. I have thought long and hard on who should mentor them, and now they are ready. Smallkit," she turned to the gray-and-white patched tom. "From this moment on, until you recieve your warrior name, you shall be known as Smallpaw." she turned slowly to the dark brown tabby tom that had carried Whisperkit into the Clan. "Stripedpelt, you are by now quite ready for your first apprentice. You will mentor young Smallpaw."

He bowed his head gratefully. "Thank you, Robinstar," Stripedpelt murmured. He padded up to Smallpaw and touched his noses with his new apprentice.

Robinstar smiled down at Whisperkit, an odd look in her eyes. Hope? Promise? Maybe Whisperkit would never know. She looked away, pretending not to notice.

"Now you, Whisperkit. From this moment on, until recieveing your warrior name, you shall be known as Whisperpaw. And as for your mentor..." she didn't have to look very far to find the cat she was looking for. In fact, she looked just to her left, at the ThunderClan deputy. "Thicketfur, you are ready for another apprentice. You will mentor Whisperpaw."

The Clan was in an uproar, cheering the new apprentice's names. "Smallpaw! Whisperpaw!" just like before, only three moons ago. Only this time, it seemed like less of a "welcome," and more of a "congratulations."

This time she would be losing something, rather than gaining everything.

Now there would be none of bossy Gorsekit, none of silly Ivykit, no pushy Moonkit, no quiet Whitekit. Just her and Smallpaw, against the world, just like always.

Whisperpaw sighed as she touched her nose to Thicketfur's, not really concentrating on the cerimony. She didn't deserve any of this anyway, she was born a rouge, and she was abused because that's what was supposed to happen! Her mother should have left her to die...

No! Whisperpaw shook her head to clear her mind. "What am I _thinking?"_ she murmured to herself. She was a ThunderClan apprentice. She had waited her six moons, now she _deserved_ this. She'd earned it! No matter what her murky heritage was. She was just a little... depressed is all.

Whisperpaw could just hear Robinstar tell the apprentices to go out with thier mentors, like background music in a crowded room. Thicketfur approached her, smiling as she came, her green eyes full of laughter.

"Whisperpaw, you seem distracted," she commented. "How 'bout we go explore the territory? Stripedpelt is taking Smallpaw out too. Let's go join them." Whisperpaw almost didn't notice as her mentor padded away.

She darted through the undergrowth after her.


	10. Chapter 10

**Mmmm... Mayonaisse... Er- um, hullo! Okay, today I am extreamly bored, so I'm gonna make this a veeeeeery creepy chap about Whisperpaw's dumb fears! YAY FEAR!**

**Anywho, reviews! Reviews!**

**PearlaH.Sweden- Why thank you! And look! I updated!**

**Kira2667- ( I know. I feel just as sorry for my own charri as you do. Thank you for the super compliment! hands cookie**

**Wildtail- You're welcome! And by the way, you'll see the relation when the ending rolls around. It's sad.**

**xx-Secrets-xx- That's actually a pretty good idea! I might use that... You'll see!**

**soundslikeliar- bows I knew you'd love them!**

**Well, it seems the names were a hit. Also, free cookies all around! hands out cookies My gramma made 'em just for you! Oh, and watch out, I'm planning a super sad ending to this story. Sorry. Also in this story, a major villian is introduced now! It's written in his POV for awhile. And guess who he is grandfather of? That's right! Tigerstar himself. Ciao!**

**Glitterpool**

* * *

Thicketfur led Whisperpaw through the ThunderClan territory eagerly, giving her little time to catch up. She barely paused to show her landmark trees and rocks as she dove through the undergrowth, desperate to catch up with Smallpaw and Stripedpelt. 

Whisperpaw didn't mind- she was actually still concentrating compleatly on her horrible past. No, she didn't deserve this! She should be where she was born! But if she wasn't here now, neither would Smallpaw be...

She furiously shook her head. No! She _belonged._ She had lived here for three moons, and the Clan had accepted her in a heartbeat. None of her siblings had given her any trouble about it, except maybe Moonkit... But Moonkit had problems of her own, expected to be as good a hunter as her mother, looking just like her. Could that be the source of her edginess?

Whisperpaw held in a growl of contempt. Why was she even thinking this way? As a kit, all she'd ever wanted was to see the briliant ThunderClan, to join its ranks and be part of something... But now, where was all of that? Was glory and belonging not enough for her?

No, that was the problem. It was _too_ much. A non-Clanborn kit shouldn't be in the purest of all Clans. It just wasn't right!

"Whisperpaw! You're lagging! Keep _up,_ you lumpy ball of fur!" It was her mentor, yowling in a playful way. Whisperpaw almost rolled her eyes. She could scent her brother just ahead, so why the rush?

"I'm coming, Thicketfur," she grumbled.

Smallpaw had apparently scented her too, because a moment later he came crashing through the ravine at top speed. He slipped easily under the bracken, his small ears swiveled toward his sister. "Whisperpaw!" he called excitedly. "Look! My first fresh-kill!"

It was then that she noticed he was mumbling around a small red-furred rabbit. "Good catch!" she called. "You must've been running like a WindClan warrior!"

He purred back, rubbing his gray-patched head against her tabby one.

* * *

Stripedpelt gazed down at his apprentice and his little sister forlornly. What kind of a kit could be so close to a sibling? He was barely even close with his mate! _Well,_ the dark brown tabby thought,_ it can't be helped. _Sometimes kits were born like that, so defected as to care. What in the warrior code said you had to be caring?

"Smallpaw," he nearly shuddered as he spoke his apprentice's name. Such a weak name, even for him! "Smallpaw, don't you think we should get back to training?" he said gruffly.

"Sure," he swiveled around and padded back to his mentor.

Such little defiance! He would grow to be a weak warrior. His first apprentice... Such a disapointment. He should've been Whisperpaw's mentor. Then at least he would only have to train her for a moon!


End file.
